Fernweh again

"And now I'm home and I wish I wasn't."

Der Satz steht in einem E-Mail an einen Bekannten in Laos, Antwort auf seinen aktuellen Newsletter. 

Heute kam ich von den Ferien nach Hause. Vor 12 Tagen bin ich vor meiner Haustür losgewandert, vor 5 Tagen standen meine Kollegin und ich auf dem Gotthardpass, dem Ziel unserer Wanderung. Und die letzten vier Tage genossen wir la dolce vita im Tessin. Natürlich immer noch mit Wandern, aber "sesshaft geworden", von einem Campingplatz aus und deshalb mit weniger Kilos auf dem Rücken. 

Ich hatte mir ja vorgestellt, dass man beim Weitwandern unweigerlich auf philosophische Gedanken über das eigene Leben und das Leben an sich kommt. Nichts da. Auch nach fünf Tagen hatten sich diese noch nicht eingestellt. Im Gegenteil: Der Kopf wurde leer, ich spürte den Schmerz in der linken Schulter, überlegte mir, wo wir am Abend wohl unser Zelt aufschlagen würden, sah Beeren am Wegrand und ass sie von der Hand in den Mund. 

Jetzt wieder da. Wieder denken. Alltag irgendwie, auch wenn ich noch eine Woche frei habe. Auf der Zugfahrt nach Hause, an Faido, Göschenen, Flüelen vorbei, all den Orten, die wir uns zuvor zu Fuss erarbeitet hatten, dachte ich zuerst, es sei einfach dieser Alltag. Der mir fast die Tränen in die Augen trieb und mein Herz schwer machte beim Nach-Hause-kommen. Fast zurück in Rapperswil merkte ich dann, nein: Es ist ein anderes Gefühl. Es ist das Fernweh. Die Lust, unterwegs zu sein mit nur dem Nötigsten. Im Moment zu leben oder zumindest im aktuellen Tag. Menschen allen Alters und jeder Herkunft zu treffen, von Gesprächen bereichert zu werden, um sie, vielleicht sogar ohne ihren Namen zu kennen, bald wieder weggehen zu sehen. Grappa aus dem Verzascatal und Bergkäse aus Andermatt zu kosten. Das Land zu erlaufen, Geografie als Orte und nicht als Ortsnamen kennen zu lernen.

Reisen ist so eine unglaubliche Bereicherung. Das Fernweh hat mich wieder. 

Aussicht von der Alp Bardughè auf den Lago Maggiore.
Wanderung: Vogorno - Odro - Alpe Bardughè - Vogorno

"Siwid" means "life".

First day of the last week of teaching. 

I feel torn between here, the warmth, the quiet, steady, day-to-day life, and home. Where I can pet cats because they're less likely to have fleas. Where the weather is cooler, but nicer for running. It feels like someone pressed the "Pause"-button and as soon as I get back, many things will happen very quickly. Major changes are coming up. Like the sword dangling over my head, but it's not a sword, it's maybe a piñata, about to burst open and shed things that I know now are there but don't know exactly what they will be like.

I wanted to write that life is pretty uneventful here. But that's not true. The heartbeat is slower, but life is the same. People around me fall in love, get their hearts broken, people have babies, people come and leave, people die. I feel like in these long-exposure shots in movies, I'm standing still while people around me are merely blurred figures rushing around. I'm on a time-out here, which gave me the chance to breathe, to shake off the worries of the past few months. But it also makes me feel a bit lonely. I'm just a visitor here. Mine is the only life that's on "hold".

Things that happened on the weekend:

- I got myself a pair of jeans and a handsome husband at an auction at game night. Cost me 90$, altogether.

- Watched "Les Misérables". 

- Got a massage. 

- Wrote farewell letters and prepared presents for "my" kids.

- Ate some of the best indian food ever.

- Learned some new Lao: "tod" means "fart", "göp" means "shoe", "siwid" means "life". 

- Ran on the buddha mountain. Hated every minute of the last part back, the 1.5k Mekong bridge. Kept telling myself "I'm not a quitter. I'm not a quitter. I'm not a quitter." and made it. 

- Someone died. I hate that everyone wrote about it on Facebook on the same day, and I didn't know if I should say anything about it here. But it IS very sad and upsetting, even if I didn't know this person directly.

Listening to a mix by El Tigre, "Notes on a blue lake, near a white mountain". It captures the mood perfectly. Yesterday we visited one of our students' village. It rained a lot and the air was cool. While we ate fresh durian and those little bananas that are hard to peel but taste very sweet, I looked outside the window. The green of coffee plants and palm trees and the forests on the plateau was stunning. So fresh, so lush, revived by the rain. Awaiting the fruit, the things to come.

 

July randoms.

Apple turnovers, sweet cinnamon taste, an afternoon treat. My bare feet feel dusty on the cool tiles. Thankful for a fun lesson with the kids this afternoon, "rock paper scissors" and other games for animal vocab. Team spirit, noisy kids with lots of energy and also quiet, shy ones that like to stand in the back and don't play even if I ask them to. 

The sky is cloudy, a slight breeze moves the leaves of the coconut palm in our landlord's front yard. The air-con makes a loud noise while my two colleagues laugh and talk at their desks behind me.

Oldschool rock music, motorbikes driving by, 4.18 p.m. My Australian little brother, making big plans for his and his fiancée's future. Young love, a blank canvas, two people, two cultures. Earlier in the afternoon he was playing an online game where his character's name happens to be "Evelyne". Nickname: "Agony's embrace". Colouring pencils on my desk, lesson plans, my canvas bag. Too late to go to the market now...

My arms are tan, my skin warm and soft, shimmering, reminding me of last Sunday at the waterfall. Slippery rocks with specks of gold, a strong current and a wooden construct for jumping in the shallow water. After the picnic we sit under a small waterfall, just enough space for our heads behind a curtain of water thundering down, we laugh at the funny echoes of our screams. Happiness. A teenage boy who just can't get enough of this game. Lao girls in full clothing, splashing water at the older boys, laughing, holding hands, sihns and T-shirts dripping water. Two of them collect big insects in an empty bag of chips, telling me they're going to fry and eat them later. Small children we all look after, they wade through water from one auntie and uncle to the next, sit on our laps and play with the water. A student who can't swim, giggling, tightly holding on to my hand. She bravely holds her face under water and comes back up smiling, her eyelashes sparkling with drops of water. Communication with laughter, with smiles, with hands and feet. 

I feel ashamed for my bad Lao. For having spent six months here, it sucks. Big time. I cook dinner with two Lao staff members, learned a new sentence today, "jao hian kiao gapp yang nam ajan Maricar", "what did you learn with teacher Maricar?". Chop onions, green peppers, red peppers. Ask the next six people who pass the kitchen area what they learnt today, chop tomatoes. Ask about family, "jao mii kob gua njaj bo", younger sisters, older brother, "pinong"? 

I am really not good at learning Lao. Too scared to try, it's too easy to just speak English. Two weeks left here. 7.40 p.m. now, it's dark outside. A gecko is catching mosquitos outside my window, his translucent green body shimmering in the cold light from the office. 

The Confusing Lives of Finger Print People.

I. Did. Not. Expect. Teaching. Family. Members. Vocabulary. To. Be. So. Difficult. GOODNESS GRACIOUS. #teachingkids #almostlostpatience #neverdoingthatagain #yaytohashtagsinablogpost

I'm knackered. And SO THANKFUL to my assistant teacher Mr Khio who explained everything so patiently in Lao. 

I'd prepared a really cute worksheet about family relations, where they were supposed to write "niece" on the line between "me" and "my uncle", for example. 

To cut a long story short: It didn't work.  

My lesson plan (ambitious, but better too long than too short):
- finish finger print family tree that we started yesterday*
- teach: "Who is this?" - "This is my ..."**
- "How many brothers and sisters do you have?"
- game: two teams, count which team has more sisters/aunts/uncles etc. in total
- do worksheet "family relations"

- start new topic: describing people (connect to family: "my father is tall")
- game: "I spy" with people ("I see a boy. He is tall. He has short black hair. He is wearing a blue T-shirt. Who is it?")
- teach new lexis: tall-short, long hair - short hair, dark skin - fair skin, long nose - small nose, curly hair - straight hair
- game: bank robbers. Description of five robbers, put pictures in the right order. 
- draw 6 faces by instructions ("long nose, short curly hair, blue eyes")
- use lexis actively: describe the other students

* I know! Finger prints - fun!! 

**No, fellow ESL teachers, I didn't plan a starter. That's because my students are all sitting in the classroom 20 minutes early and as I'm not willing to entertain them during that time, I let them draw pictures or read English word books. Also, possible future ESL employers, this is obviously not a proper lesson plan and my actual lesson plans look much different. Promise.

Today's actual lesson: 
- finish family tree / draw pictures
- teach: "Who is this?" - "This is my ..."
- "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" - "I have 2 brothers and 1 sister"

- game: two teams, count which team has more sisters/aunts/uncles etc. in total - STUDENTS ARE CONFUSED/NOT WILLING TO COOPERATE --> start fighting/drawing/mixing teams

- CHANGE OF PLAN. Invent game to give the students the opportunity to make some noise, have fun AND (!) consolidate new vocabulary: Someone throws a plastic bag in the air, they laugh, shout, scream while it's in the air, but the second it touches the ground, they have to be silent. Students have fun. Round two: While the plastic bag is in the air, we shout words from family vocab as loud as possible (eg. "SISTER-SISTER-SISTER") STUDENTS HAVE FUN, EVERYTHING IS OK.

- Make example about the worksheet, hand out worksheet, students start doing it. At least some of them. Check the first worksheets that are finished, point out that you are not your grandma's cousin. Neither her niece. Check the first answers of the slower students. Praise for correct answers. Try to explain that you're not your aunt's aunt. Call Mr Khio to explain it in Lao. See what the faster students are up to now. They take drawings by their classmates from the wall and hang up their own drawings instead, not nice, but whatever. Check more answers. Call Mr Khio to explain the difference between "niece" and "nephew" in Lao. Faster students ask permission to go to toilet. Okay, anything that keeps them busy while I give the slower ones the chance to understand new lexis. Correct spelling errors. Call Mr Khio over to explain the difference between "son" and "grandson". Now about 80% of the students have finished. The 3 girls come back from the bathroom. "Teacher, play game." 
- "No, please wait." Check more spelling errors, have Khio explain more lexis. Luckily the two teenage boys are much more patient than the girls and explain new words* to the younger ones (or in one case: do the worksheet for them thinking I wouldn't notice the writing in green instead of black pencil). Two students have filled out only two of the gaps by now. Enough, I can't have the other ones wait longer.

*I'm so confused right now that I initially spelled "words" with a V.

- DECIDE THAT WE CAN'T DO ANOTHER BRAINY ACTIVITY NOW. Look at the clock. 3 p.m. Half an hour left. SILENT QUICK PRAYER ABOUT NEW IDEA. Family bingo it is!!! Hand out paper, make them draw a grid, dictate nine different family members. Half of the students complete after one minute, the other are still at family member no.2. Wait, entertain the others. They change places for a reason only they know, but whatever, if it keeps them busy. The slower students have written three family members by now. Check spelling and literacy errors with the faster ones. Wait. Wait. Wait, because we can't start the game without all the grids completed. Wait. Wait. Play bingo. REGRET THAT I DIDN'T BRING CANDY FOR THE WINNERS. Yay, STUDENTS ARE HAPPY, even without candy. Draw new grid, wait 7 minutes for slower students to fill it out, play bingo again. LESSON OVER, THANK GOD.

I thought family systems (relatives = "pinong") were much simpler in English than in Lao. But apparently that's part of the problem. See: In Lao the words for "older brother", "younger brother" (and respectively "older sister"/"younger sister") are completely different. "Older sister" for example is "Euay", "younger sister" is "nawng sao". Culturally important. Same for aunt and uncle: It depends if it's your mom's brother or your dad's brother or the husband of your mom's or dad's sister. Even the grandparents are called different on mom's and dad's side... 

Not only my students are "supson" (confused) by now...

Saep! (delicious!)

I haven't posted any food shots yet, apart from the bakery stuff. Not that I haven't been eating for the past three weeks... On the contrary. Living with Lao people, I discovered a whole new range of Lao food: I never dared buying food from the market, I always ate at restaurants instead when I was here last time. Now we go to the market together and surprisingly, everything's quite safe to eat - at least I've never been sick until now! 

1. steamed rice, 2. sticky rice, 3. papaya salad, 4. vegetables to eat with the meat, 5. tamarind dipping sauce, 6. lab kai (minced chicken meat and intestines), 7. capoon (chicken with noodles and padek (stinky fish sauce)), 8. grilled liver and fish, 9. bbq chicken and sausages. My favourites are 3. and 6.

My crazy housemates, or: "Pig Booms" are "so very etepetete"

At home I share the apartment with four pets and two people. Here, it's surprisingly little creepy-crawlies, but 8 people living in the same house. There's one empty bedroom at the moment because we share rooms - it's chaotic, but I love it...

It's a chaotic mix between languages (Lao, English, German, Oi and Thai from the TV), ages (kindergarten to - umm, my age), interests (learning Lao, the "A-B-C-D"-Song, "Gangnam Style", the movie "Rapunzel") and eating habits (muesli with fruit for breakfast or noodle soup?). My second-youngest housemate and I draw pictures together, in return she teaches Olivia and me fruit and vegetable vocabulary in Lao and cracks up with hysterical laughter if one of us says "mac appöl" instead of "mac appön". I taught the girls to say "etepetete" instead of "highso" (which they believe is a real English word, meaning "posh").

Sometimes being the teacher of one of the teenage girls and at the same time being her housemate leads to funny situations: While she's learning songs like "Do you like banaaanaas? Yum-yum-yum" in the afternoon, late in the evening we end up dancing in our livingroom with all our housemates to crazy Asian music, making silly faces and laughing at the teenage girls imitating "pig booms" (big boobs) with their ice cream containers. 

"Bah" means "crazy" in Lao. 

Shopping à la Laotienne.

So happy about my two new sihns:

(I know, the floor tiles are gorgeous too)