July randoms.

Apple turnovers, sweet cinnamon taste, an afternoon treat. My bare feet feel dusty on the cool tiles. Thankful for a fun lesson with the kids this afternoon, "rock paper scissors" and other games for animal vocab. Team spirit, noisy kids with lots of energy and also quiet, shy ones that like to stand in the back and don't play even if I ask them to. 

The sky is cloudy, a slight breeze moves the leaves of the coconut palm in our landlord's front yard. The air-con makes a loud noise while my two colleagues laugh and talk at their desks behind me.

Oldschool rock music, motorbikes driving by, 4.18 p.m. My Australian little brother, making big plans for his and his fiancée's future. Young love, a blank canvas, two people, two cultures. Earlier in the afternoon he was playing an online game where his character's name happens to be "Evelyne". Nickname: "Agony's embrace". Colouring pencils on my desk, lesson plans, my canvas bag. Too late to go to the market now...

My arms are tan, my skin warm and soft, shimmering, reminding me of last Sunday at the waterfall. Slippery rocks with specks of gold, a strong current and a wooden construct for jumping in the shallow water. After the picnic we sit under a small waterfall, just enough space for our heads behind a curtain of water thundering down, we laugh at the funny echoes of our screams. Happiness. A teenage boy who just can't get enough of this game. Lao girls in full clothing, splashing water at the older boys, laughing, holding hands, sihns and T-shirts dripping water. Two of them collect big insects in an empty bag of chips, telling me they're going to fry and eat them later. Small children we all look after, they wade through water from one auntie and uncle to the next, sit on our laps and play with the water. A student who can't swim, giggling, tightly holding on to my hand. She bravely holds her face under water and comes back up smiling, her eyelashes sparkling with drops of water. Communication with laughter, with smiles, with hands and feet. 

I feel ashamed for my bad Lao. For having spent six months here, it sucks. Big time. I cook dinner with two Lao staff members, learned a new sentence today, "jao hian kiao gapp yang nam ajan Maricar", "what did you learn with teacher Maricar?". Chop onions, green peppers, red peppers. Ask the next six people who pass the kitchen area what they learnt today, chop tomatoes. Ask about family, "jao mii kob gua njaj bo", younger sisters, older brother, "pinong"? 

I am really not good at learning Lao. Too scared to try, it's too easy to just speak English. Two weeks left here. 7.40 p.m. now, it's dark outside. A gecko is catching mosquitos outside my window, his translucent green body shimmering in the cold light from the office.